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To squee or not to squee
Last March I adopted a puppy and named him Porter. Recently, we were playing and I realized just how ridiculous the things are that I say to him. For example, this morning when I woke and saw my dog, I...
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Six things to avoid on a first date
Six things to avoid on a first date ( that have happened to me on a first date…all within the last 6 years) 1. Try not to fall and cut your knee/leg/ankle. If you do, try not to cry. If you cry…avoid...
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Dear Vodka
Dear Vodka, After much consideration and very little recollection, I have decided to break up with you. We fell in love about 2 years ago, when a foot of snow was on the ground and my ex boyfriend had...
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Douche at the bar.
Tonight I met a coach of a local college team. We talked for an hour or so. He was cute and I was having fun until things got douchey. Coach: You want to fuck later? Me: Excuse me? Coach: I said I want...
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My Male Order Husband
See what I did there? Fun. Since searching for true love feels like being hit by a train, I’ve decided to just go ahead and order a husband. I did some research and found some real gems. It was hard,...
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Men, Muscles and Money, Oh My!
I thought that perhaps the media was exaggerating how beautiful/ridiculous the people are in South Beach, but I was wrong. On my first day there, I went to the beach alone and observed gorgeous,...
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Miami Time Warp
Miami’s bars close at 5 am, making everything that happens there feel like a drunken time warp. Let’s flash back to last Tuesday, shall we? My friend Karolina and I went out at 11 pm and had drinks...
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Best Questions Men Have Asked Me (Since I Started This Ridiculous Blog)
I have received some very important, thought-provoking questions from my male readers. I found the following questions to be the most captivating and thought it would be a disservice to you all not to...
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Reasons Men Exist
After 10 months of focused research, I have finally created a comprehensive list of the main reasons that men exist. Please let me know if I’ve left any out. My results show that men exist to: –...
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Drunk Girl Writing
Andrew of Shut Up Dad inspired me to try drunk writing. So, here I am. I was hoping there would be a masterpiece in my brain by now, but I’ve got nothing and now I’m just a little wasted and feeling a...
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a date worth mentioning.
Two years ago, I decided to join the Baltimore dating scene. I didn’t know what to expect. I met a lot of strange men that summer, including the male version of myself, an extreme racist, a horny...
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